The good news? Well, I learned that I don't like the industry that I got my degree in and pretty much confirmed that Californians live in a fantasy land. I'm pretty bitter right now and wished I'd never gone on the trip. I really miss my finacé, Jennie and just want to get married. That means that I need to get a job so I have done so at Target. It's not some place I want to work at but Jennie and I both have the feeling that that is where I am suppose to be right now. It's almost as if God is saying, "You won't get anything (job wise) until you submit to My Will." Why He wants me there I can only guess. But I do know that if this is His Will then I can't go wrong.
I really need prayer right now because I feel like no matter where I work I will be miserable. I can't get a job in the ministry (the only place I really want to work) so I feel like my work is in vain. I know it really isn't but I can't help but feel that way. I'm probably not making much sense right now or really repeating myself but that is most likely because I am on steroids (for my illness) and pretty depressed.
I do know a couple things:
1) I need God
2) I need Jennie
3) I need to be fulfilled through work
or I will go crazy. I don't know why, but everything has changed since I visited California. I feel like my life is going nowhere so I must do what God's Will is. I must get off my tail and work at Target no matter how lowly that seems. Again, prayers are needed.
Overcast Eastern US
Silk
American Gull
Wise
Waterfall
Killing Time
Moscone Convention Center South (the site of the AES Convention)
Come
Alcatraz
The ominous Golden Gate Bridge in it's true (lack of) splendor
Lazy
Is that a Marlin or a Dolphin?
My tiny room
One of the wall pictures
Another
My tiny room with equally tiny sink
It really is larger than I thought
2 comments:
A comment about California.
I lived in San Francisco for 6 yrs....then L.A. for 12.
There are so man christians in Ca and from the sounds of it, you saw only what you wanted to see and prejudged everyone and everything about Ca. Maybe you were just lonely but God doesn't want us to give up on anything! I will pray for you to open yours eyes a bit wider and smell ALL of God's roses.
California can be a fun place to live if you meet the the people God puts in your path while you are there. I lived there of three years, Long Beach and San Diego, and it was what I made it. Sound like you were homesick...nothing wrong with that Jstphish. God bless.
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